- …half the time I don’t even know where my Bible is, let alone read it.
- …I think reading a verse in context means finding it in my favorite systematic theology book.
- …I get paid to start fights.
- …deep down I wish I had a cool-sounding German name.
- …my only friends have all been dead for 1000 years.
- …I’m right. Always.
- …I enjoy sucking all the mystery out of life.
- …real people confuse me.
- …I’m not even sure what “exegesis” is.
- …I spend most of my time thinking up alien categories to impose on the text.
- …I’m not even sure what ministry is.
- …I’m not truly happy until I’ve confused someone.
- …I think the fruit of the spirit is arrogance, strife, certainty, intelligence, perseverance (in study), loneliness, literacy, irrelevance, and stubbornness.
- …my favorite books are…never mind, you wouldn’t understand them anyway.
- …I’ve been trained to speak unintelligibly whenever possible.
- …no one likes me but I’m so bad with people that I don’t notice.
- …I think anyone who disagrees with me is a pagan, heretic, unbeliever, Cowboys fan, or some combination of the above.
- …I confuse belief with knowledge and speculation with reality.
- …if you saw how I dressed you’d swear I was colorblind.
Via Marc Cortez.
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